Hang with me on this. It's vague intentionally, but I can't let this week pass without sharing a big learning. Huge. And, I committed myself to sharing the good, the bad, and the better in this blog.
It's funny how what you think you want is really not what you want at all. And, it doesn't matter what the situation is, if it isn't right, it will just never come together. The timing is off, the expectations are too high, or sometimes you just need to be honest about what's right for you. When you are fighting this kind of stuff, you will not win.
On the flip side, when you find the person, the thing, or the direction that is right-- no matter how much you try to screw it up, you can't. It's a constant.
I felt it full force from both sides in the last two days. It was frustrating, enlightening and frankly, I'm glad it's over. But, something really good came from all of it. I learned how to re-engage a part of myself.
Someone I really respect made a reference to wanting me to get back to the person he knew a year ago. I get what he meant, but I know I'm not who I used to be. Parts of that girl are working their way back, but parts I've intentionally dialed back because they aren't really me. I'm OK with that. I'm a work in progress. And while it isn't perfect now, down the road with some calibration, it will be a hell of a story to share. And, I won't be the person that I used to be. In my opinion, I'll be way better :).
Fast forward to the last six hours and that's when the re-engagement happened-- I think it's a God thing. I gave a pretty direct comment to a very trusted friend. Little did I know that my comment was in direct line with something he was working on. And, if it works out it could be a very good thing.
To quote one of my favorite parts of Jersey Boys-- Nick Massi talks about why he made a decision that surprised the group:
"I don't know why I said it. It just came out of my mouth. But once I said it, I knew it was what I wanted."
Luckily, I said it to the right person-- so hopefully a new adventure could be on the horizon. But even if it isn't, it's still OK. It's all a part of the journey.
Sorry for the random post, but it'll all make sense later. I hope. Ha!
No comments:
Post a Comment